Why Men Cheat
I was tempted to write this article for a long time. I thought about writing it as the shenanigans of Hugh Grant and Dominique Strauss-Kahn came to light; as the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal broke out and in the aftermath of the Anthony Wiener’s disgrace. I didn’t.
First when a friend of mine was confronted with her husband’s infidelity – the scoundrel had an affair with a very UNATTRACTIVE girl – I felt that I’ve had sufficient evidence to prove my point.
Listen up ladies: why men cheat intrigued us for thousands of years and I seriously believe that I’ve gotten this puzzle solved for us all. Male cheating – I’m talking here about adult men over 30 – has NOTHING to do with love or sex!
The short answer to why men cheat is:
Men have weak egos that require constant nurture. The moment your man's ego isn't the center of your attention, your man will stray. Click To Tweet
Why do I believe that? I named three well-known “celebrity” cheaters at the beginning of the article. All three have – or have had at the time – very attractive counterparts, either wives or girlfriends, respectively. Two of them got caught with much less desirable women. (Two because technically speaking, Anthony Weiner wasn’t caught with anyone.) For the sake of the argument let’s pick one example: Arnold Schwarzenegger. The comparison between his wife Maria Shriver and his very homely mistress is telling.
Next to Maria, Arnold is a fashion accessory, not her equal, leave alone superior to her in any way. Next to his mistress he is… God. All of the female counterparts of the “celebrity” cheaters are either equal or superior to their cheating mates. Conclusion? The males were yearning for worship which they didn’t get at home.
The complete answer to why men cheat is:
Both, male AND female egos need nurture. The huge difference between us is that men – for reasons incomprehensible to any woman – believe that they’re entitled to it. Women are nurturers and self-sacrificers by nature. With that said, at some point the intelligent woman realizes that she’s getting the shorter end of stick and finds herself forced to make a choice to either continue inflating her partner’s ego – while getting little or nothing in return – or take care of other matters. That’s when men begin feeling neglected and unimportant. They are smart enough to hang on to attractive and intelligent women while loading up on ego-worship elsewhere. The women these men cheat with are usually significantly less than the women they cheat on. This proves that the cheating man isn’t trying to replace or diminish his partner but get something that wasn’t available at home (ego nurture) from a source he perceives as non-threatening to his partner.
Herein lies the problem: men are more self-centered and selfish than women. They don’t seem to be familiar with the principle of giving what you hope to get…. Had the husband or boyfriend who feels slighted and not worshiped enough GIVEN nurture and worship to the woman he loves his reason for extra-marital affair would cease to exist.
As it is, men of all walks of life cheat and devastate the women they love who in turn often respond by insisting on a divorce and are not open to negotiations. A man is usually flabbergasted by such a turn of events and has no clue why the woman – in consideration of whom he’s chosen a mistress who couldn’t possibly be perceived as her rival – wouldn’t welcome his apologies.
Guys? Your cheating causes girls to question their value and desirability. It crushes their pride. Makes them feel inadequate, not attractive enough, not young enough, not skinny enough……. You name it. You cheat to feed your ego, by doing so you destroy the ego of the woman you love.
Ladies? There is no need to examine your vulnerabilities. It isn’t you who’s got a problem. It’s not about you, love, sex, integrity and all that. It’s about the fragile male ego. If the guy matters to you, make his ego your priority. If he doesn’t, take care of your own. With a healthy ego, you can get ANY guy.
Your thoughts on why men cheat?…
