Girls: Vulnerability Isn’t A Weapon
Powerful women are in, damsels in distress are out.
There’s nothing wrong with the Sleeping Beauty’s story, except that it is incomplete. Who of sound mind would dare to speak up against a beloved fairy tale? A woman, of course! More accurately perhaps, a female life coach / personal development coach.
It never seizes to amaze me just how many women still suffer from the Sleeping Beauty Syndrome!
As women we deal with several liabilities created by the traditionally male-dominated society. The message of the Sleeping Beauty is that until and unless a woman is loved by a man, she has no value and won’t survive. Especially from today’s perspective, what a toxic message to give to little girls!
And even today, with so much female empowerment and girl power going on, women still feel incomplete without the “security” of a man. Why is it? We’re raised with several false perceptions that were fed to us very early in life – when we had no way of distinguishing falsehood from reality – and embraced them with the unquestioning faith of a child.
Women tend to have a weak self-esteem. (Personally, I don’t believe that female low self-esteem is a matter of nature. I ascribe it to the belief that it is the product of misguided nurture.) Since men know that women are starved in the self esteem department, they know also how to exploit this weakness. Many a relationship is built – and is going strong – on the male feeding the female’s insecurity.
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” Roy T. Bennett
Many women have a love / hate relationship with money. Men represent security to them. Men’s relationship with money is practical, not ambivalent. Where does the difference come from? Everything, from upbringing, tradition, language, income inequality, you name it!
While to women money is a somewhat esoteric concept, to men money simply is. Woman associate money with men and derive emotional security from men who earn well and have money. Countless women sacrificed their self image, dignity, independence, self-confidence, careers, not to mention their dreams, in the name of “love” that feeds their self-worth and provides for their financial needs. Many believe that it is “normal”. That it is the price every woman pays for being “loved”. Not so! That’s the price fearful women pay. The women who never developed or tested their own power. The women who live from childhood to death in a perpetual state of dependence.
“Love” is about WANTING someone, not desperately NEEDING someone. The “damsel in distress” is a thing of the past. There are no “damsels” anymore and distress is a sign of failure. Click To Tweet
No matter who you are or what stage of life you’re at: wake up and smell the roses! It’s quite basic. You’ve got only one life and there’s only one person you can’t live without and can always count on: YOU! You are your capital and your responsibility. People come and go, none of them is a constant presence throughout your life. You were there when you were born and you’ll be there on your deathbed. The time between the beginning and the end is what YOU make of it. Regardless of circumstances, you are the one who makes choices for you. If you have a wonderful life: congratulations! If you your life is insufferable… You dropped the ball somewhere along the way. Everybody fails sometimes. It’s not the end of the world. It’s a lesson. Dust yourself off. Get up. Start over.
Forget the Sleeping Beauty, it’s a fairy tale written by a man (Charles Perrault). YOU are the boss. Don’t have the necessary skills? No problem, get them. Get some self-esteem while you’re at it: self-esteem isn’t an overly inflated ego; it’s the knowing that you can survive anything. Guess what? YOU CAN!
Money? Money isn’t a compensation you get just for being. Money is a payment for work. Figure out what work you can do, find out how much it pays. Get hired, start a business or freelance: here you are. You’re doing something that has monetary value. You’re getting paid. It’s money for your effort and time, not for the sacrifice of your values or selfhood. After work, you’re FREE and belong to yourself. (You are not indentured!) You have time to be YOU, to pursue your goals and dreams. The power is all yours. Knowing that you’re in control is priceless:
“Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.” Margaret Bonnano
(Aim for BOTH!)
So, delegate the Sleeping Beauty to the fairy tale shelf where it belongs and DON’T pass it on. From now on, you are no longer a victim of the Sleeping Beauty syndrome, but a survivor.
There’s nothing wrong with the Sleeping Beauty’s story, except that it is incomplete. The princess and the prince are two aspects of the same person.
Every human being (male or female) is vulnerable and fragile. (Exposing vulnerabilities invites exploitation!)
Every human being (male or female) is capable of developing and exercising power, being a hero and savior. (You CAN revive and save yourself!)
There is no need to advertise your vulnerabilities. Advertise your strength, your abilities, your skills, your power.
Build YOUR Kingdom! (It may – or may not – include a prince. If it does, make sure that’s because you want him but can live without him, just fine. After all, he constitutes but a fraction of your holdings. If he were gone tomorrow, your life wouldn’t change much and your Kingdom would continue standing strong.)
